The offseason in the Bundesliga has been very busy

And, alas, so have I, and once again neglected my blog. But enough of the apologies! Here’s a general look at what’s been going on over the past couple of months, with a team by team look at the weekend. Then I’ll make like Charles the First and stick my neck out for the forthcoming season.

Any pre-season analysis has to start with Bayern. A fourth placed finish last year for the Bavarians means no Champions League this year, and they didn’t even have the consolation of a Cup win either. Manager Uli Hoeneß and coach Ottmar Hitzfeld both decreed that this wasn’t good enough, and have instituted the biggest (or certainly what it the most expensive) squad overhaul in Bundesliga history. It was something of a coup to get Luca Toni from Fiorentina on board for €10m, especially as Juventus and Internazionale were rumoured to be interest, and more so to get Franck Ribéry to join for a club record €25m from Marseille, with plenty of alleged Premier League interest. The bitter wrangle to get Miroslav Klose to join also reached a much drawn out conclusion, with Bayern adding another €2m to their original €10m offer to get him from Werder. Notables leaving Bayern include Roy Makaay (Feyenoord) and Hasan Salihamidzic (Juventus). Here’s a possible clip of the upcoming season – Bayern spanked Werder 4-1 in the Ligapokal (League Cup), which is traditionally a pre-season tournament in Germany, with half their first team missing.

Vfb Stuttgart, the reigning champions, have also invested. Romanian striker Ciprian Marica has moved from Shaktar Donetzk for €8m and loaned Ewerthon (previously of Borussia Dortmund) from Real Zaragoza for €1,2mm this season. Yildiray Bastürk has also signed a contract after spending his previous 3 seasons with Hertha Berlin. They have, however, lost their superb goalkeeper of the past decade, Timo Hildebrand, to Valncia. Jon-Dahl Tomasson and Marco Streller have also left. Vfb play Bayern in the semi-final of the Ligapokal tonight.

Schalke have been rather more low key (although it’s heavily rumoured that Stephen Appiah will be joining from Fenerbache by the end of the week), the most notable recruits being Ivan Rakitic from Basel and Jermaine Jones (the traitorous little shit) from Eintracht Frankfurt. Notable losses include Lincoln, who moved to Galatasaray, and Hamit Altintop, to Bayern. The stability seems to have worked though – they beat Karlsruhe SC 1-0 at the weekend and trounced Nürnberg 4-2 away in the other league cup semi last night.

The news from Werder Bremen isn’t good. At least, not for their fans. Klose has gone. Thorsten Frings has torn a ligament in his knee and will miss the first half of the season. And in has come Carlos Alberto from Fluminese, and Boubacar Sanago from HSV (last season, 31 games, four goals, you do the maths). Leon Adreasen has at least returned from his loan spell in Mainz to add some bite to the midfield, but it remains to be seen whether Hunt, Almeida, Klasnic and Sanago can replace the all round excellence of Klose.

The rest of the league has been busy, but not bleeding cash. Angelos Charisteas, he of Euro 2004 fame, has joined Nürnberg from Ajax. Ailton, top scorer in the Bundesliga just three years ago is back and playing for MSV Duisburg having endured a rather tortuous journey around southeastern Europe. Robert Kovac has moved from Juventus to Dortmund. Junichi Inamoto has joined Eintracht from Fenerbache. Last years golden boot winner, Theofanis Gekas, has moved from Bochum to Leverkusen. And, like watching any new Quentin Tarantino film, that is about all that is exciting.

PS Bayern beat Schalke 1-0 in a pretty lame League Cup final

It doesn't pay to count your chickens

So I was listening to HR3, the local radio station, on the way to the game on Saturday, and the idiot practically guaranteed defeat for Eintracht by pointing out the best ways to get to the satdium from the A3 from an Easterly direction, and then thanking Cottbus for leaving the three points behind on their way back. Of course, Eintracht crashed to a 3-1 defeat, sustaining three sucker punches on the break (ably assisted by the useless Alex Meier for the first one - him scoring was the only positive thing he managed for 90 minutes) and losing Christoph Preuß to a very nasty injury that is really not safe for work - you have been warned.

Things for Frankfurt to note: Marcel Heller is wasted on the wing. Get a 4-4-2 going and let him attack with Takahara. First time crosses work - witness the goal. Faffing about in the corner doesn't work. Köhler - the opposition notices when you always check back on to your left foot. So stop it. If the opposing goalie is easily rattled then rattle him. Stop poncing about.

Luckily there are teams that seem to be as inept as Eintracht at the moment but let's start at the top. Schalke managed a nervy 2-0 home win to Monchengladbach to maintain their two point lead over Werder, who managed a workmanlike 1-0 home win over Nürnberg. Stuttgart scored 4 goals in the first half to win away in Hamburg and stay third, whilst Bayern didn't let up either, scoring two screamers to beat Hannover 2-1 and stay in contention in fourth.

Apart from Monchengladbach who now appear doomed, Bielefeld drew 1-1 away in Berlin and Mainz lost 3-2 away to Wolfsburg. These are now the only teams below Frankfurt in 18th, 17th and 16th respectively. I would be happy if the season ended now. Amazingly, Bochum beat Leverkusen 4-1 away (three goals in the first 22 minutes!) and Dortmund beat Aachen by the same score away.

The relegation battle therefore still goes up to 7th place (!) where VfL Wolfsburg currently reside with 35 points - Mainz have 30 in 16th, and Eintracht 31 in 15th. I'll try for some more in depth analysis later, but I am still thoroughly peeved with the game, result and general all round play on Saturday. Why oh why did I end up in this town and not in Münich?! For the rest of my sins, I also support West Ham, but that's a story for another day!

The current table

Update! Hertha Berlin have sacked their coach Falko Götz for the second time - this time for the recent run of poor results.

Finishes a striker would be proud of

and refereeing that belonged in the playground.

Never the less, well played Bayern (and especially Van Buyten and Rensing) to haul back Milan twice and take a great result back Munich next week.

And they might meet Liverpool in the final.

CL quarter final time

After being unceremoniously dumped out of the Champions League 5-2 on aggregate last year by a rampant AC Milan, and helped on by a defensive display of extraordinary ineptitute by Lucio, tonight is Bayern's first chance of revenge.

They've already won in the San Siro this season, beating Internazionale 2-0 in the group stages, but that will probably count for little this time around. For a change there will be a full house in Milan, 90% of which will be baying for German blood. Is there any reason to think they will get it?

The Italians have hope. Both Mark Van Bommel and Oliver Kahn are suspended tonight, the former for being sent off against Real Madrid in the previous round, the latter for issues discussed previously, and Bayern will miss the Dutchman's niggly presence in midfield. In Michael Rensing, München have one of the Bundesliga's top young 'keepers and now he has the chance to prove himself on one of the biggest club stages in the world.

However, Milan were lucky to come away with a 1-1 draw at home to Roma at the weekend, whereas Bayern comfortably beat Schalke 2-0. AC coach Ancelotti is still unsure of his best formation, and Ronaldo is ineligible for this game, having already played in the CL for Madrid this season. Moreover, the pressue is on the Italians as this is the only competition they have left to play for - the Serie A title is bayond them and they went out of the Cup to Roma in January. Bayern, on the other hand, still have hopes of a third consecutive Bundesliga title, although it has to be said that this is the one they crave.

It should be a football feast to savour.

The perplexing mystery of the last 10 minutes

For outright bafflement, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes (coming to a movie theatre near you soon!) has absolutely nothing on Eintracht Frankfurt. In particular, Frankfurt’s complete and utter inability to hold on to hard earned leads away from home, especially going into the final ten minutes.

Since the turn of the year, Eintracht have played away from home 5 times. In four of those games, they have led until well into the second half, and yet contrived to throw away the lion’s share of the points on every single occasion. Up 1-0 and then 2-1 against VFL Wolfsburg, they drew 2-2. Up 2-1 against Bayer Leverkusen, they conceded in the 91st minute. It was 1-1 against HSV until the 77th minute (they lost 1-3). 2-0 up against Nürnberg until the 81st (!) minute. 2-2. And, on Saturday, leading 1-0 against last place Mönchengladbach, they contrived to concede yet another equalizer in the 89th minute, prompting trainer Freidhelm Funkel (literally translated as Freedom Helmut Spark – I love the German language!) to go nuts and get himself sent off.

We all know that if my Auntie had balls she’d be my Uncle, but even my basic mathematics tell me that Frankfurt have thrown away nine points in their last five away games. If they had held on then not only would they be safely away from the relegation zone, they’d be challenging for a UEFA Cup spot! Instead, all Eintracht fans are in the middle of a ‘Zitterpartie’ (trembling party), and wondering whether they’ll beat the drop. Now just two points off the drop after Bochum beat Hannover and Bielefeld beat Dortmund, the next game against Cottbus on Saturday, just one point and one place ahead of Frankfurt, takes on all sorts of significance. Especially in a league where every team from 7th place is basically scrapping it out against relegation, 5th and 6th going head to head for the last UEFA Cup spot, and 1st to 4th the CL places.

Of which, Bayern were never in trouble against Schalke (2-0), Stuttgart kept up their challenge against Aachen (3-1) and Bremen could only draw 0-0 away against Cottbus. Elsewhere, Leverkusen beat Mainz (3-1) to stay ahead of Nürnberg in the race for fifth, who beat Berlin (2-1).

A lot of fans will be praying this coming weekend. All Adler (Frankfurt’s nickname) will be pointing their eyes and clasped hands heavenwards, and hoping that, somehow, Frankfurt can overcome their away day blues and get those vital three points at home this weekend.

Not much hurt over here I can tell you part II

As simple as it sounds, the best reason I can come up with as that Germans nearly always play as a team. As far as I can recall the Germans have 'failed' at major tournaments only twice in my lifetime: In the European Championships in 2000, when they were so poor that even we beat them, and again in 2004. And both times the team was divided or just plain shit, Ribbeck not being the man to lead Germany, and a team of mostly disinterested players turning up in 2004.

I, of course, had one great day pointing out how pisspoor Germany were to my colleagues that year, as England had just beaten Switzerland and Croatia, and then England contrived to lose to Portugal on penalties despite having should have won it, and being cheated out of a perfectly valid goal by referee Urs Maier. And then England reverted back to being poor.

In any case, take some time to watch Germany play. They get stuck in. They play for each other. Their passing is crisp and precise and hardly ever devoid of confidence. They score goals from midfield and have prolific strikers. And a ready supply of superb goalkeepers. etc etc etc.

All of this starts with the clubs. Whilst the Bundesliga is indisputably weaker than the other big leagues at the moment, German clubs have tended to turn out good players whose heads haven't been in the clouds, and who are prepared to work in hard in order to make themselves great players. German teams have made it to 13 UEFA Cup finals, 11 Cup-Winners-Cup finals (including three appearances by GDR clubs) and 13 European Cup/CL finals and that is testament to these clubs producing good players.

Moreover, you are much less likely to find Bundesliga players in the tabloids for the wrong reasons ie. on the front pages rather than the back. It can also be a pleasure to listen to German footballers after a game - in general they tend to be articulate and insightful. You also find that a lot of ex-players actually make the grade as coaches- Magath, Doll, Beckenbauer, Schaaf, Vogts, Eilts, Klinsmann, or as managers - the Höneß brothers for example (it is important to note that German clubs have both coaches, who train the players, pick the team and so on, and managers, who look after operational details, execute transfers etc). So could it be that there is a higher degree of intelligence fostered in the German game than in England?

Is it hard work? Technical work? A desire to improve? Intelligence? Or maybe even an attitude that doesn't border on the arrogance embedded in certain sections of the English media ie. the 'right' to be amongst the best in the world, irrespective of results?

Whatever it is, I would love to ask a few of these questions of Heribert Bruchhagen, the Chairman of Eintracht. And if I ever get invited to the VIP section again, I will do my level best to get some proper German perspective. After all, they are much more successful than England.

All eyes are gravitating southwards this weekend

As ever, there are nine games in the Bundesliga this weekend, but only one of them will go a long way to deciding anything: Bayern vs Schalke.

Currently nine points off of table-topping Schalke in fourth, this is make or break time for Bayern. Win, and they will close the gap to six points with seven games left. Draw, and all title hopes will be lost, plus they won’t be able to overtake Stuttgart in third for that vital CL qualifying place. Lose, and they might start having to look down, rather than up, in the hope of any European competition at all next season.

Schalke, on the other hand, have been sounding off over the past fortnight. Vastly underrated Brazilian defender Marcelo Bordon referred to Bayern as not being the Bayern of old ie nothing to be scared of. Comeback player of the season Kevin Kuranyi, who didn’t even make the World Cup squad, yet scored both goals against the Czech Republic and captained Germany on Wednesday night, uttered similar sentiments along with a lot of talk about it being Schalke’s year. Further encouragement was given to them by their right back Rafinha, who this week signed a contract extension to 2011.

Unusually, Bayern have been very quiet this week. As it is rare for a week to go by without Uli Höness, Franz Beckenbauer or Karl-Heinz Rummenigge mouthing off about something that’s wrong with either a) the state of the DFB or b) themselves, depending on how well they’re doing. This could well be ominous for Schalke – expect to see Bayern at their most rugged and determined. Or they really have given up hope and will concentrate their firepower on the Champions League. My arse is beginning to hurt from all this fence sitting…

Tonight’s game is a relegation six pointer – Beilefeld vs Dortmund (who certainly didn’t expect to be mentioned in this way at the start of the season). Tomorrow, Stuttgart pick up their CL campaign to home to Aachen, Bremen likewise away against Cottbus, Leverkusen their UEFA Cup campaign to Mainz, Hertha Berlin try and improve on the second worst away record in the league in Nürnberg and Mönchengladbach continue their relegation right against Frankfurt. HSV v Wolfsburg and Bochum vs Hannover are Sunday’s rather non-descript match ups.

The current table....